July 17
Things have slowed down this week, to a walking pace. I mostly don't have to be anywhere at a given time. That caused an issue this morning. I was reading and failed to take into account the time that was passing. I had a haircut scheduled for 11:00am, but was only slightly late. Lunch with a longtime friend scheduled after that -- and that friend is bound by a tight clinical schedule.
I am not used to using my walking feet. Not at all. Usually I have running shoes on. I move from person to person, place to place, pastoral care subjects one right after the other. People drop into the office without calling ahead, and it happens daily, so I don't ever really know what my schedule is going to be. I really, truly, love this about my work at the church; the people just dropping in. I think it says something about my relationship with them and theirs with me that is overwhelmingly positive. Believing that to be true I have adapted to it joyfully -- but, it does sometimes mean that I have to rush to do the tasks set before me in a day or a week. That's no complaint but an explanation of why I keep my running shoes close by.
On Monday I talked to a pastor-friend who was recently on sabbatical and I told my friend that sabbatical was difficult. There is a void that has begun to form. A void of hurry. I am so used to the hurry that I am this week, which is the calm, no travel, nothing scheduled, down-time week, suffering withdrawal from the hurry. Today I couldn't tell you where my running shoes are.
So, when it came time today for Dallas to need me, I was actually mostly available. We went mattress shopping. We went shopping for storage drawers, sheets, pillow cases, a wardrobe rack. We went to Sleep Outfitters, Value City Furniture, At Home, Target. I wasn't in a hurry. I wasn't as distracted as usual. There were no text messages to return, no phone calls. It was him and me in the car together. Walking feet. Slower. Less-distracted than usual.
And yet, there is still that withdrawal thing. Checking my cell/computer/phone every so often. Even as I tried to be fully present I still think of Katherine Claire, and Carol Ann, of Ruth and Lisa.
July 18
I am writing this on Wednesday morning. I have decided not to take the boat to Cave Run and just leave it there at Captain Hooks and pay a storage fee. That has freed up my day. I have thought of playing golf or fishing, My running shoes have been put aside, but my feet aren't quite used to these walking shoes. A new frontier of discovery is opening up.
Peace and Love,
Jerry
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